Black Roses/ Stones

Butterflies used to
Take up valuable space
Now stones have
Settled

Thought you were
Possible, so I
Let you in
Told you my
Most embarrassing secrets
Got lost in
The blink of
Your eyes as
They laid themselves
On my everything

Do you know what pain feels like?
Do you know what personal fear feels like?
Do you know what inner silence feels like?

Not afraid to
Let go now
More afraid to
Move on to
Someone who is
Not you, someone
Who does not
Smell the same
Way you do
Afraid to plant
Seeds of time
And get caught
Afraid of the
Future because misery
Has laid itself
In our footsteps

I wanted all
Of the parts
That make up
You, now we
Are broken much
Like a vase
Fallen off the shelf
I can not
Eat, I can
Not wash you
Out of my
Experience: Black Roses

Do you know what angst feels like?
Do you know what sleepless nights feel like?
Do you know what it feel like to live out of your body?
Do you know what it feels like to hide your tears because the people who love you do not want see you cry?

Afraid to run
Into you on
The street, so
I stay in
Going outside is
A mental chore
I do not
Want the allowance
Money under the
Covers is where
My solace is
No more giggles
No more aristole
No more hugs
No more tears
Of joy and
No more love

Butterflies used to
Take up valuable space
Now stones have
Settled

No more sweaty
Palms, no more
Walks along the
River, where twin
Cities mirror each
Other, I lost
Love, your the
One I needed
And did not
Know I needed
Too bad you
Do not need
Me, you do
Not crave my
Insides the way
I crave to
Look into your
Face for hours

Do you know what love is?
Do you know what it feels like to know that you and the love you have to offer is not wanted?
Do you know what it feels like to not be able to look at your self in the mirror?
Do you know what it feels like to watch the energy change?
Do you know what it feels like to constantly not want to look at people because you do not want them to see the stream of tears?

I wonder, if
You have noticed
That I am
Not there anymore
I thought you
Were the one
To project me
From me, you
The world, thought
You really meant
"I got you"

Butterflies used to
Take up valuable space
Now stones have
Settled