About two months ago, I wrote about the " the deep spiritual" vibrations: that were released in the world that I, a spiritual being became privy to in dreams, as well as through misa blanca (a spiritual mass done with a with table and a large glass of water) and from daily mediation: I was feeling some type of way.
You may have dismissed that post to just "antics", of the author. I the author suggest you read it….
Oh what tangle webs we weave.
Since that post I have been through a lot. Not a little a lot, a life-altering amount of a lot. I often times teeter between revealing my EVERYDAY, or between just merely stating the simple words of the reflection given and going about my business not having a care in the world with regards to:
How the information is 'attended to', 'received', or adhered.
This is the tangled web I weave, a projection of self that is not here to have a full on human experience. God is a funny man.
Whom I love and will die for, yes I will die for and in the last 27 days have died with.
Death my friend who I walk with, (Iku the actual “name” of death in Yoruba cosmology), I played the martyr, the victim, the prostitute, and the sinner in my card game with Olofi (God, in Yoruba cosmology). Glad I was playing with God and not the Irunmole (the “not so good forces in the world that ride the coast tails of your free will and steady the course to conclusion: my understanding of Yoruba cosmology”) because God has taught me many lessons about my contract. He has shown me that I have remained humble I may have a voice but I have remained humble and followed my ita to the letter, given the very set circumstances I have been given to move within.
I wish it were as easy as making a decision to not be who I contracted to be.
It is not.
With that I am concerned with:
What you do with the words you read….
How are these words affecting you?
Do they go in one ear and out the other?
I often times say, I do and walk EVERYTHING you have read here. This is my experience.
For the last month (21 days) I was in the hospital. For many reasons, due to my own self-preservation I shan’t not go into detail but I will say this:
I am not disease infected anymore
I am not contagious anymore
My blood is no longer killing me.
I can walk again
(Please run, tell that to those who wanted me dead, confirmed in ITA)
Rock bottom is a place that is lower than the where the dregs of society supposedly live, well guess what I have been living at “rock bottom” for the list 10 months.
I have learned more about my own constitution that I thought possible. So one the day I applied for supplemental federal benefits I decided to splurge and get myself a good hearty meal. I found myself sitting in a chipotle.
While this happen (bullet points)
1. I spent my last 10$
2. I observed a lovely black family enter the establishment
3. I watched how the children and the family interacted, finding joy in the smiles and button noses of the small brown babies that gazed in my direction as if to say “hello”
4. I spoke to the Mother, saying she has beautiful children. The little boy was a little more reserved much like that of the father at first.
5. We spoke candidly about the realities of day care and education in this country
6. More than our color, and our social economic status bound us.
7. Then the miracle happened. The father turned and said “let me pay for your lunch”
8. I cried (I am a cry baby at times, not boo-who but overwhelmed with the human emotion of LOVE
9. Immediately as I watched them leave, I prayed that their family would beat all the statistics and grow beyond, beyond and that I would get to see the children post HS graduation. And I wanted to see them again
10. Just then I was touched, and it was the father, this man I did not know and his said I gave you what was in my pocket, but I wanted to give you more…
“You are needed, you are strong, the world needs you, stay strong”← I hear you LOUD and clear God. He is a funny man, that God. I told him I wanted to hear those EXACT words: I needed for my human sanity those small words my human flesh needed proof that God is real.
Then I went to the water (Hudson), the river. To Ochun. I cried my tears to Ochun. Tears that were not in the form of words, I let them all out, while there I meet a man from Australia he was traveling with his Mother, Friends and he was her interpreter. They were all deaf. That day I was told in sign that I was a beautiful human and that I should keep moving forward, and that I was needed in the world. I keep saying I want to hug children, but that day GOD HUGGED ME, literally and physically. Before I got to the river I was going over in my head the list of things that needed to be prioritized and handled/dealt with/ retained.
Wealth
Shelter
Fake friends/ Charlatans
Provision &
Spirituality
THIS DAMN BOOK
Reflections?
I am at peace inside, because I know I have developed the self in a lot of ways that go beyond the human eye. And I have taken a myriad of people with me. I hope that I get to cross paths with you and just simply give you a hug, I hope that you can sit in a place of being okay with your path…. There is more to my crazy week however I will stop there because it is a matter of again being overwhelmed with LOVE feelings and not being able to see the screen….
Today reflections:
FIND THE GOD ALL AROUND YOU
KNOW GOD IS REAL
FORGIVE FROM THE INSIDE
LOVE ON THE WRONG SIDE
STAND FOR JUSTICE
KEEP YOUR SECRETS TO YOU UNLESS NEEDED FOR TEACHING
TAKE THE LEAP OF FAITH
STAND ROOTED IN THE PATH YOU KNOW IS YOURS
IT IS OKAY TO SMILE AND CRY AT THE SAME TIME
NEVER LET ANYONE CALL YOU VICTIM
LOVE YOU FROM THE INSIDE OUT…
Reflections Eternal
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