Greeting and salutations from beyond the hurt, from beyond the sadness from the shroud of masquerades, the veil of cloak and dagger and on the precipice of rapid change.
I come in peace
I come speaking of transference
I come seeking transformation
I come honest, open and willing
I come at the ready....
....as it was suggested by my talk counselor to read the book "Discovering your soul signature, a-33 day path to purpose, passion and joy". One of the better strong suggestions I have had: Life has been great. And I am only on day 4. moving very slow through the process. I find myself reflecting along the way. I now understand more about me than I did just days before.
I took the assignment a bit further and started tapping into my inner child. The 8 year old me. The younger girl child. Aristotle's minor. Who saw no hope for the future. And as if a point of psychological transference and transformation (Hekua hey Yansa- the master therapist) I wrote the following letter:
Dear Perri;
((my birth name) A person who I killed because she was weak, timid and easily bullied- irony is she was and is my protector, place of reservation and meter of logic.)
This is a letter for you to read. I know its weird reading a letter you wrote yourself in the future now in the past but stay with me.
Kiddo you been through a lot already. More than most humans, and most of the other ones too. Be proud that you are not a cookie cutter image of every other young girl out there in the world. Be proud that you are your true self and you are only eight yrs old.
At this point you know who you are and you know what you want. The thing you have to look out for are traps and people trying to control and intercept your movements.
You were born free. You have always been a free spirit and it is vitally important to your livelihood that you remain a free spirit.
Your heart chakra is very open work hard to keep it this way. Im not saying give your love away for free, no I am merely stating for you to remain open to the idea of more than what your mother has conditioned you to believe.
Don't worry your grandmother will be fine. She is going to get very old and your continued prayer and faith are a major part of the reason she is beyond blessed. She will get sick a bit but she will be fine. She will experience a huge change in her life later in life that will effect your idea of a family unit, greatly. This change will make you reevaluate all you think you know about family. It might even have an effect on your ability to create a family if you let it. Do not be distracted. Remember you are the medicine, doctor and the nurse for all the sick beings in the world and the boat for those to cross the water.
Your mom well thats a different story. See, shes running from heartbreak and she is going to teach you how to wear mask. She is going to instill in you that love, touch, sex, sexuality are all morally wrong and against the will of God. This my dear is simple not the truth. Life was given to us humans to have and fulfill. It is our job to take care to have and build a good life for ourselves. This includes a strong family unit. Try not to let her change you. She will do a doozy of a job on your outer self-esteem where she will call you every name under the sun and all your negative traits will be the things our mother points out and in turn because of the curse of the mother others who will not take the time to know you and will do the exact same thing. Build your outer amor dear one. For you have nothing to prove to anyone. Remember God is watching closely.
You are smarter than she says, or even encourages. You have the ability to do whatever it is you want to do in life. You have a beautiful way to look at life, keep that, build that outlook.
Continue to see the beauty in even your enemy despite how a person feels towards you. Your mantra will become: Do unto others better than you have been done. Never treat people how they treat you. Keep seeing the beauty in every living thing on this planet. Ugly does not exist in your vocabulary.
Remember the story of the woman who throws her last two pence into the box at the foot of the church: remember to ALWAYS GIVE MORE. Even when none is given to you.
Do not talk negatively about people. The only way another person than yourself should be spoken of is to encourage them. Continue to be genuine and humble.
Humble is not allowing someone to walk on your back. Humble is not being a slave. Humble is respecting your journey and the process of understanding who you are on your journey.
Keep asking questions, probing to find the truth. There is nothing wrong or disrespectful about asking questions. You have the natural talent to get to the bottom of things, trust your instincts. 99% of the time you are more than correct.
Guess what kiddo, you will live in New York City. That dream will come to fruition. Please keep dreaming and remember keep your dreams to you. Write them down keep a "dream journal", even the dreams that are 'messages' keep to you. Unless life or death.
There are going to be things that make you angry and you will have to make hard decisions along the way but Im living proof that you grow up to be super loving and diligent with your intelligence and your Ocan (heart in Yoruba)
I am proud of you however because you have learned to face your fears like a pro and still have this deep healing love for people. Be who you were put here to be. Be nice to them even when they are cruel and unusual. Do not harbor resentment.
I need to say that to you twice because people are mean spirited: malicious, negative, filled with agendas but they are also children of God. Go with God always. Always wave the proverbial white flag.
Always tell the truth. Even when it is not the thing a person wants to hear, be honest and upright in all your dealings even when you know a person or people are cold and calculated with you.
You must always be a representative of a cool head. Even when you are killing people or hanging them from a noose in your head. Stop that. It is just planting seeds of negativity in your. Clean your garden.
Do not be afraid to love intimately. Not everyone is out to steal that kind of love from you. You are a representative for love. If there was one thing I really want you not to fall victim too, it would be the pathology (it means pattern) of loveless relationships.
Our mother did a number on us in that category. You are worth so much more. You bring the whole meal to the table. And most of the time they are coming to your house.
Yes our mother did a number on us, there and she had made you feel lifeless in your own skin but you are not. You are so at peace with life that you almost do it in a passive way. Stop speeding up time. Thats not a good way to use that power. Slow down. Harness that gift.
There is an energy you will come to know as Obatala. He is with you now it is why you never are hurt from our mother beating us. He has a friend that loves you dear one he is known as Eleggua. He is the one that talks to you at night. And reminds you to pray. He and Olofi (God as you will come to know) are watching everything. There is a beautiful life planned for you dear one, you are loved, even liked. Remember not everything is for everyone. Be cautious. Be Love. There is so much more I wish I could properly place into words, I love you dear one...we will meet in the future pass.
Love me-
9-17-2014
(edited: 25-9-2014)
Brooklyn NY
Today's reflection is brought to you by Obatala himself:
to "look at the bigger picture", to never sleep in the heat of battle and to walk upon the road that Eleggua has built.
I would also encourage you to write to your inner selves and talk about and address: Fear, Sadness, Anger, and Guilt.
I pray you loved, transformed, and situated firmly on your path to absolute growth.....
Reflections Eternal-
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