at 34 I thought this holiday wouldn't make me feel like I am inadequate for not having a family that resembled the photos that were forced feed down my face when I was a child. But it hasn't changed. I become really angry during thus holiday. I don't even begin to think about the need to have a "family" or one that looks like one until this dang on holiday comes around. I have been working on being grateful for everything from breath to life and well I do not feel warm feel good feelings for this particular holiday. Im in love with Christmas however. This holiday just makes me feel pathetic. Anyway I do hope you all who have read this have a great time with your families with the people that love you. Its such a phenomenal thing to be loved by people who share your blood.
---hard holiday...
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