Reflections Eternal:

I come in Peace. 

I come with my sword and shield laid by the riverside.

I come open to you and the wisdom we have to reciprocate 

I come to you with vulnerability and LOVE.

Over the last few days I have not been able to meditate. Which is bad for me, when I am not in a constant state of meditation and connecting to the ase of baba, I am not a nice human. I am outside of the spiritual conversation I signed up to have the day I decide to be initiated to Obatala. When I am meditating I am able to see, hear, smell, know and breathe and understanding.  

I have been trying to gather the right words, to discuss the things going on in my head. The information I have taken in over the last few days, the many blogs I have read and the programs I have watched…. and then there are the words of the dead people at the back of my neck.  And let me tell you the collective necks are not saying why there is an urgency to their constant pushing of me to create place and space for people to be and learn from each other. I do know this, you all must begin to create collective conversations and places where you have bound allegiances. You need to ebo your children and tell them of the plight of the African in this country. Wars are going to be breaking out soon and there will be MASS MURDERS happening. This much I do know. 

T.I. says it best in his album “heavy is the head”, in the song  ’Sorry’ he expressed this: 

    

[Verse 2]

Pacify your pain with a chain and a rover, fuck it justify you action with stacking dough up. You show up with a brick of cocaine and backing soda. Just enough for me to blow up, nigga hold up. Switch the flow up, cause these niggas be snitching’ so much I promise all they missing is the badge, coffee, and donut. Go to jail so what, never see my my INTEGRITY PERISH, that ain’t the HARRIS’s way, study my pedigree. 

In this verse he is talking about INTEGRITY, this is a word and sentiment that has gotten lost along that way. We know longer have COMMUNITY, we have a bunch of folks who kinds of get along and belong to the group. BUT COMMUNITY, that is missing. 

I say all of those words because, for me and my experience of the human condition and its post traumatic slave disorder, folks need to REMOVED MY NAME FROM THEIR TONGUES and study my pedigree. Look at who and what I am and what I represent. 

I am upset and concerned about my future because I look at how people treat each other and I have to tell you THERE IS NOTHING THAT IS HAPPENING NOW THAT MAKES ME FEEL SAFE AND SECURE IN MY BLACK SKIN. I wonder if you feel secure in the future of this country as it is now?

I am not sure I have a reflection today. 

This is more of an open conversation with self and community. 

That community is YOU, and you consist of: 

Healers

Lovers

Doctors

Writers

Priest

Mothers

Fathers

Story tellers

Queer humans

Christians

Yoruba

Lawyers

Researchers

Educators 

Teenagers

Elders

etc,.

Or maybe the reflection is in the organization of my thoughts about these very topics. I do employ you to chime in. 

So here is at it, the things that have been on my spirit and do not seem to move or shift that just sit there like a bad cold or an allergy of the body. Maybe that is what it is an allergy of the body. I am allergic to the tragic nature of how we human enter act with each other. I am allergic to the fakery. 

The mass gentrifications that are happening around the world. From Brooklyn to South Africa. The African in all his grandeur and glory is being marginalized and pushed aside. Question: Where will the African go? How far to the margins can you push us until we begin to push back?Will we push back? Why is it that the African does not rally around each other the way the Jews, do? Where is the spirituality in the conversation called the marginalization of the African?

Did you really call the cops on Spike Lee’s father: There is an internal rage that brews in my spirit EVERY TIME I read that some WHITE hipster, has called the police (law and order) on Spike Lee’s father? 

(you can read the story here: http://www.nytimes.com/2013/06/01/nyregion/in-brooklyn-bill-lees-music-is-his-neighbors-headache.html?_r=0). 

A man who I met, and who was so soft spoken that he barely said hello for his intense focus on the trumpet player (Donald Mallory). It bothers me because my grandmother is 89 years old and a jazz musician and the things that brings her the most peace is playing the piano at wee hours of the night (11:30- respectively, because that is late for her) and she has done so since before this women who is complaining WHOLE family was born. It bothers me that we treat the old the way we do. Like that mean nothing. I pray for the the compassion and love to be exemplified and that the situation does not go beyond 311 calls. 

The children need hugs, the children need love. As I have been sitting home recovering from illness myself I have been having vision after vision of me being the “children’s version” of Amma. The hugging saint. I have watched about 15 documentaries on her and I have read several lovely detail conversations about peoples experience from receiving a hug and the transformation in their lives. I am not a saint, nor am I a sinner. I am a human who can see the and feel the pain and despair on the face of the children. I can see the hunger in their eyes, and the fear in their breathe. I just want to hug them. I have to stop myself from hugging the children on the street that I do not know. I have to remember to not get caught up in children I do not know because as an adult in this world it is seen as “weird” that I understand the plight of the voiceless child. ("United Nations Convention of the Rights of Children” as of 2011 Sudan and The United States were the ONLY nation whom did not sign the CRC.) 

Education and Employment. I have a dream, and my dreams involve buildings, and parent teacher conferences, and lots and lots of students in light uniform colors that are representative of spirituality of each child. So I want to open a school. I want to teach spirituality, and I want to be have the conversations with children about who they are in the world and how they can move throughout the world. Kundun (HHIV Dali Lama) says teach a child to meditate and you can save a nation. Image a whole school help in meditation as one of the classes in your day? OR a Yoga class, or a class where you get to sit and decompress. A school where hugging your teacher is a part of the day to day routine of interacting with, or a forehead salute. A school where the children are not afraid of the children, and the children are not afraid of he school. I want to create community. 

Head is the head, I am at a cross road. That cross road is taking all these conversation and make a “book” of what to do when and conversation and or keeping these reflections right the hell where they are. I am tired of humans. I have been lied to, lied on and then asked to be a slave all by the very people who I want to help elevate and empower. The most joy I have experienced has been from working with and assisting children in anyway. They seem to be the only ones that do not lie and create chaos. 

We are all complaining about wanting better but we ain’t really willing to start telling the truth. What do I mean, as a woman who is often with both energies male and female it is amazing to watch SISTERS, cut each other down to nothing and whats even more disgusting is MEN, who create the dynamic to have women put themselves pitted against each other. WE NEED CHANGE. 

This last one is quite complicated. Recently I have had several people, say to me that they are not keen to experiencing love.Like they experience EVERYTHING but LOVE. I have asked why? And the one thing that each of us have said to the other is that we don’t want to experience being lied to or abused. This got to thinking how do you prevent this type of behavior? How do you teach monogamy, and communication? How do you teach people to do unto you as they want done to them? How do you know if you are in an abusive situation? How do you teach people decorum? And in the same breathe there are women who are in relationships that are not in those relationship for love, they are in it because they do not want to be a productive member of society. Yet, those are the same people who pilfer, accuse, mistreat and turn brilliant hearts to COLD SHOULDERS.  

I guess my reflection is:

BE WHO YOU WANT TO BE IN THE WORLD. BE THE PERSON YOU WANT TO BE IN THE WORLD. and in turn do not mistreat other, respect all the other selves as they present themselves to you. BE PRESENT. In all that you do. I will continue to meditate on these top 7 things, because I want to figure out how to shif t this energy from where it is STUCK and DIRTY to Light and airy.