"that gurl"

"that girl"

People look at my 

brown eyes and 

think Im the one 

who has it all but 

most do not know 

I am the girl who has 

never had a mate. 

The girl who was 

constantly told 

"know one will want you", 

as if it was a 

marketing campaign

The girl who feed the 

homeless, and gave 

out blankets when 

everyone else was 

out trying and doing 

life 

Im the girl whom 

know one has taken 

the time to know 

beneath the skin. 

Or when they do 

they only wanna 

know what my 

inside skin feels like 

its either taken or 

given with no emotion. 

Or they run from me.

Spread rumors and

boast about the lies.  

Sleep with my friends, 

and throw all of their 

judgements on me.

I wave the flag 

on the play 

shift

Folks have no clue 

my pillow is soaked 

from years of begging 

god to take me outta 

my misery.... 

my silence 

is taken as some type 

of juju done and my 

heart breaks 

so removing me 

from you is my 

alterer motive 

Tisk tisk tisk, 

I can smell your 

hate forced through 

fake smiles 

hard pressed hugs 

and unwanted 

moments of inclusion 

Baba stops me 

from physically attacking 

you. 

Then there is the 

meter: 

no spiritual warfare....

that price is simply

too high

Hmph and you wanted 

me dead, I still feel 

the residual effects

Taking parts, switching heads.

Yes, I know. I am clear

try not to convince 

me otherwise 

I am that bad. 

I made Iku my best friend.

Watch out for 

the silent one 

may I remind you?

No one hugs me 

without needing 

something 

in return. 

No more hugs 

are giving freely. 

Each one feels like 

a part of me 

is left behind

The girl who 

screams on the 

inside please god 

please change it. 

The same girl the 

suppressed every emotion 

afraid to "act out"

of character because 

you will blur this image 

of "family", I created

  

Folks have no clue 

about my soaked pillows

from years of begging 

god to take me outta 

my misery.... my silence 

is taken as some type 

of juju done and my 

heart breaks 

No one hugs me 

without needing 

something 

in return. 

So no more hugs 

are giving freely. 

Each one feels like 

a part of me is removed 

and placed on them 

and Im left bare, 

I want arms that hold, 

support, care 

and wont leave. 

Most people don't 

know Im the girl whom 

know one has taken 

the time to know 

me beneath the skin. 

11-August-2014